There is nothing you cannot find on YouTube:
10Aug09
Sweet Ninja Rap
Yeah, we have all seen Ninjas. They wear loose fitting black clothing, can walk up walls and jump over fences, and kick people’s ass using a stick and a can of tuna. Ninjas are the master assassins of the net world, the movie screen, and Chuck Norris’ oft-photographed “Ninja room”. But what does it take to be a Ninja? Can an IRL challenged person become a Ninja in only 5 minutes a day?
Of course they can!
Using these tried and true methods, we can guarantee that if you survive the training, you will be able to wear the secret black uniform of a Ninja with pride. Using our patent-pending workout, the muscles you haven’t Googled in years spring to life with deadly force! Wow ( “surprise”, for World of Warcraft players) your friends, impress your date, and scare the hell out of your enemies with your new-found ability to punch through a wall, kick an apple off someone’s head, and backflip across an airport runway. Lets get started!
- Before beginning this or any other exercise program, consult your physician to make sure you are healthy enough to participate. Ha! Just kidding. No one actually does this.
Tired of sitting at home leading raids on World of Warcraft or spam updating your Twitter? Is your BlackBerry your best friend? Have you looked at all of the “Hottie” pictures on FaceBook? Ready to venture out into the dating world, but you haven’t been on a date since Apple 2C? You need a few tips to get started, and luckily for you, we have them right here.
- If you are a girl, you can probably stop reading this now. It doesn’t actually matter from a guy’s standpoint what you look like or how you act. With proper lighting, you can be a 3-toed sloth eating a plate of entrails, and a guy will want to take you out. Congratulations!
Now that we have managed to stop the girls from reading our secrets (EWWWWW!!! ENTRAILS!!!!), we can get started.
- Using your mouse, click on Google, and type in INDIE BANDS. Copy and paste 10-12 sites to your MySpace or FaceBook page. If necessary, include cover art. Comments such as ” Hauntingly beautiful” and ” Wanton” add to your credibility. Under no circumstances actually listen to the music. It is Vogon Poetry. Truly.
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