Twitter has revolutionized the nation’s speech patterns in such a manner that the true Megalomaniac finally has the time to take over the world. There is not much defense against this mostly because of Twitterapathy: however, being non-megs ( as we call ourselves) we have figured out a few defenses to stop the dictator of our 140 characters to back down and admit he is just a lonely guy living with his mother with too much free time and Mountain Dew. Lets explore a few ideas and techniques.
- When some random person starts following you, delete them quickly. He is just trying to get you to follow him as well. Nip that in the bud. Unless she is hot. Then its ok. Unless it is a dude with a hot girls picture. Then it is not ok, but horribly, horribly wrong.
- If you are in a group of people that consists of random conversations, and one person making random comments about these random conversations, and you notice this, you probably need to turn off a while and read a book.
- If a person starts spamming burns on your Twitter, do NOT LOL, ROFL, or ROFLMAO, or ROFLCOPTER. This just encourages the meg, and pisses the rest of us off.
- If a non-meg is getting burned, help the non-meg by insulting the meg so BADLY he logs off for a few days. Get personal, Biblical, and do your best to send him over the edge. MAKE THE MEG CRY IRL. This is fun.
- If you really wanna piss off a meg and turn him away from his path of world domination, ignore him. Drop him from your network, and encourage your friends to do the same. Make sure he doesn’t use the “Hot Girl” trick and get on your FB, though. Hell hath no fury like a megalomaniac scorned.
- By all means welcome dissent and intelligent discourse. If it gets boring (and it will) switch the topic to beer and women. That NEVER gets old. And beer is only 4 characters long. Republican avarice is 19. Do the math!
If you find yourself becoming a Megalomaniac on the Twitter, you have resources available to you. There are several internet groups that can help with your overzealous use of Twitter to broaden other peoples’ horizons. Join one, and lead them to the Promised Land.
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