Forum trollers as a literary genre are almost dead. We have YouTube now, so if we want the quick and dirty, we can point, click, and watch. But every once in a while, a site comes along that still has the good old forum section. No one reads these anymore, but if you get on an active site, you have a chance to “BE SOMEBODY, BAYBEE!”

• First of all, be polite at first. Add viable commentary and thoughtful analysis as you can. Lowercase only. Establish yourself as a thinking person.
• Slowly lose all control. If you cannot convince people with facts, baffle them with bullshit. Here again, lower case letters. Motivation: a slightly drunk uncle discussing politics with a 10 year old child.
• Begin inserting catchy random phrases into your writing. Make sure, at first anyhow, that these phrases still have bearing on the topic. Save the really good ones for a little later.
• Come back to your senses, and speak reasonably and calmly on the topic. For about 3 minutes.
• Ok. Capital letters time! However, the moderator is not free game. Attack his supporters as a gang of sheep-raping inbreds hell-bent on the destruction of this nation and values, and that Jesus Himself will come down and expiate their sins by casting them down into  a Lake of Fire ( or if this is already a Baptist Forum, you might wanna throw in some dance moves, since the whole fire and brimstone is part of the forum already).
• As the forum goes screeling out into pure bedlam and all capital letters and accusations ( I did NOT F&*# that sheep!), sit back and watch the moderator try to figure out exactly what happened to make this all go awry.
• Copy and paste everything, leaving out the parts where you wrote anything. Post on a public bulletin board, or a WordPress blog where millions of hits are guaranteed.
• Bask in your glory. You earned it.