PwnTalk

14Feb09 How to Keep up With Internet Memes and Still Get a Good Nights Rest

We have all been there. 2:30 in the morning, eyes peeled back like a pair of grapes with toothpicks underneath waiting for the little red thingy at the bottom right hand corner of the screen to pop up and let us know that the latest smart aleck comment was being judged and relayed all over the internet by our groupie friends on FaceBook.
It can be a little addictive.
But it can also cause severe sleep dep, which makes the quick one liners and smartass comments sound dry and oddly disjointed. How do you manage to keep your reign as the edgiest man on your friends network? Fortunately for you, we have a few tips to keep you tight and funny while you get to sleep all you want to, thereby maintaining your edge as the funniest person on the Internet.’

When inviting new people into your circle of assgrabbing soilhoggers.. .I mean friends.. make sure they are only online during your waking hours. No invites after midnight, because that is like getting the last girl standing at the bar.
Choose you battles wisely. You do not have to comment on the new baby, or the recent surgeries, or the childrens’ new FaceBook photos. Skip those, mostly because they are too easy and forgettable.

No Comments Posted by admin in How To
Tagged memes

1Jan09 Megalomania in 140 Characters or Less

Twitter has revolutionized the nation’s speech patterns in such a manner that the true Megalomaniac finally has the time to take over the world. There is not much defense against this mostly because of Twitterapathy: however, being non-megs ( as we call ourselves) we have figured out a few defenses to stop the dictator of our 140 characters to back down and admit he is just a lonely guy living with his mother with too much free time and Mountain Dew. Lets explore a few ideas and techniques.

When some random person starts following you, delete them quickly. He is just trying to get you to follow him as well. Nip that in the bud. Unless she is hot. Then its ok. Unless it is a dude with a hot girls picture. Then it is not ok, but horribly, horribly wrong.

No Comments Posted by admin in How To
Tagged meglomania, twitter

25Dec08 Trolling Forums for the Catch of the Day, or How to Make Someone Elses Lecture Your Showcase!

Forum trollers as a literary genre are almost dead. We have YouTube now, so if we want the quick and dirty, we can point, click, and watch. But every once in a while, a site comes along that still has the good old forum section. No one reads these anymore, but if you get on an active site, you have a chance to “BE SOMEBODY, BAYBEE!”

First of all, be polite at first. Add viable commentary and thoughtful analysis as you can. Lowercase only. Establish yourself as a thinking person.
Slowly lose all control. If you cannot convince people with facts, baffle them with bullshit. Here again, lower case letters. Motivation: a slightly drunk uncle discussing politics with a 10 year old child.
Begin inserting catchy random phrases into your writing. Make sure, at first anyhow, that these phrases still have bearing on the topic. Save the really good ones for a little later.

2 Comments Posted by admin in How To
Tagged trolling